#awakeningyourworth 冬至 · When Letting Go Leaves a Void

🌑 冬至 · When Letting Go Leaves a Void

Awakening Your Worth · Blog Edition

Today is 冬至 — the longest night of the year.

I find myself alone today.
Not because I want to be.
But because I don’t want to go out.

There’s a subtle difference.

Inside me, emotions feel a little chaotic, a little empty. Not loud. Not explosive. Just… spacious in a way that feels unfamiliar. And as I sit with this, one truth becomes clear:

When we learn to let go, a void is bound to appear.

This blog is not about fixing that void.
It’s about understanding it.

1️⃣ What Happens After Letting Go?

Letting go is often romanticized as instant relief, peace, or freedom.

Reality is quieter.

When we let go, we lose not just a person, a role, or a situation — we lose a familiar emotional pattern. Even pain, when repeated long enough, becomes known territory.

So what shows up next is often:

  • Disorientation

  • Emotional withdrawal

  • A sense of identity vacuum

  • Grief without a clear object

  • Freedom that feels strangely unsettling

The nervous system doesn’t celebrate immediately.
It asks: What now?

And YOURSELF A question can feel like emptiness.

2️⃣ The Emotional Dances

Emotions don’t disappear when we heal — they dance.

They rotate.
They revisit.
They change costumes.

One moment there is relief.
The next, sadness.
Then guilt for choosing yourself.
Then calm.
Then the cycle repeats.

This is not regression.
This is recalibration.

Healing is not linear. It’s rhythmic — like breath, like seasons, like yin and yang constantly adjusting.

3️⃣ The Libido of Feelings

This part is often misunderstood.

Libido is not only sexual.
It is life force.

When we step out of emotional drama, intensity, or constant stimulation, the body sometimes misses the aliveness that chaos once provided.

What arises can feel like:

  • Emotional hunger

  • Craving intensity

  • Wanting to feel something — anything

  • Missing the stimulation, not the person

Sometimes we don’t miss love.
We miss feeling alive.

Recognizing this helps us respond with compassion instead of judgment.

4️⃣ How I Am Addressing Mine

I am not isolating.
I am selecting.

I am setting boundaries — not to punish others, but to protect my nervous system. I am choosing myself first, without over-explaining, without guilt, without performance.

This looks like:

  • Conscious withdrawal

  • Selective presence

  • Energy budgeting

  • Saying no without justification

  • Allowing silence to exist

Boundaries are not walls.
They are filters.

5️⃣ The Void — What Can You Do About It?

Nothing.

And that is the point.

The void is not a mistake.
It is not failure.
It is not loneliness by default.

It is fertile emptiness.

In nature, seeds germinate in darkness. In winter, nothing appears to move — yet everything essential is happening underground.

The void asks us to:

  • Sit with discomfort

  • Stop filling space unnecessarily

  • Let meaning arrive instead of forcing it

  • Rest before rebirth

🌑 Closing Reflection

I am not lost.
I am between versions.

冬至 reminds us that the longest night always carries the seed of light.
Not because we rush it — but because we allow it.

Today, I choose to stay.
And that is enough



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