We Have Absorbed So Much

We Have Absorbed So Much

Think about how much we have absorbed throughout our lives.

Culture.

Religion.

Beliefs.

Political views.

Family expectations.

Company politics.

Networking values.

Social expectations.

Other people's opinions.

And we keep absorbing.

Absorbing.

Absorbing.

Until one day, we forget to ask:

Is all of this actually mine?

Not every piece of information we receive is information we need to keep.

And I'm not saying this as someone who has already figured everything out.

Quite the opposite.

I'm saying it because I've been there.

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Your Journey Doesn't Have to Be Finished Yet

So if you are looking at yourself today and thinking:

"I'm still a failure."

I want you to stop for a moment.

Look back.

What have you achieved that you are proud of?

Don't look for something huge.

Don't look for a promotion.

Don't look for a million-dollar business.

Don't look for something that will impress other people.

Just find one thing.

One thing you are proud of.

Maybe you survived something difficult.

Maybe you finally said no.

Maybe you learned something new.

Maybe you got out of bed when you didn't feel like it.

Maybe you started again.

Maybe you simply kept going.

Just one thing.

And then—

thank yourself for it.

Charity begins from home.

And I believe appreciation begins from home too.

Before you wait for somebody else to recognise you, recognise yourself.

Before you wait for somebody else to tell you that you have done well, tell yourself.

Before you wait for somebody else to give you permission to move forward, listen to your own voice.

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My Own Thought Constipation

 

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My Own Thought Constipation

After the pandemic started, I spent an enormous amount of time learning.

During the first year of the pandemic, I would say I spent almost 365 days learning something every day.

Zoom lesson after Zoom lesson.

Course after course.

Experience after experience.

I knew I was a coach.

I had already been a coach for several years.

But I wasn't really practising coaching at that time because I was working.

I knew I was good at managing.

I knew I was good at SOPs.

I knew I was good with human relationships.

I knew I could organise things.

I knew many things.

But I had not really coined down what I was good at.

I hadn't found the core.

Instead, I became greedy.

I wanted to do everything.

And when you want to do everything, sometimes you end up doing nothing properly.

That's what I call:

Thought constipation.

Too much information.

Too many possibilities.

Too many things you want to become.

And not enough space to hear yourself.

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Then I Slowed Down

Eventually, I had to slow down.

I started recognising my core.

I started separating things.

Putting things into perspective.

Segmenting what I had learned.

Asking myself:

What is really mine?

What do I really want to bring forward?

What is useful?

What no longer serves me?

And eventually, something became clear.

I created my own platform:

Awakening Your Worth.

And at the heart of it is something very simple:

Inner Dialogue.

This journey didn't happen in one day.

It took years.

It took experimentation.

It took learning.

It took getting lost.

It took having too much information.

It took slowing down.

And it took listening to myself.

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Come Back to Yourself

So when you come into this room at 9 a.m., you don't have to come here because you need me.

Come here because you need you.

Use this room to check in.

Use it to reconnect.

Use it to process.

Use it to release what no longer serves you.

Use it to recognise what still has value.

And most importantly—

Come back to yourself.

Because somewhere underneath all the information you have collected, all the expectations you have carried, and all the identities you have taken on,

there is still you.

Your Inner Dialogue is one way of finding your way back.

And when you find your way back to yourself, you don't necessarily become somebody new.

You simply remember who you have always been.

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I'm Not Promoting Coaching. I'm Promoting You Back to You.

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I'm Not Promoting Coaching. I'm Promoting You Back to You.

Sometimes people ask me:

"Peggy, you're doing TikTok Live all the time. Why aren't you promoting your coaching sessions more aggressively?"

And my answer is:

I'm not promoting a business.

I'm promoting you back to you.

What I want is for you to become curious enough about yourself that you want to have that coaching conversation.

Not because I want you to buy coaching.

But because you want to discover what is already inside you.

You want to take the values from your experiences and transform them back into yourself.

Because transformation, to me, is not about becoming somebody else.

Transformation is about going back to your core.

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Use Your Thoughts — Don't Let Your Thoughts Use You

I still have negative thoughts.

I am not an angel.

I still get irritated.

I still get frustrated.

I still have moments when my thoughts run in directions I don't particularly like.

The difference is that I am becoming more mindful of what I do with those thoughts.

I don't want my energy to be zapped by thoughts that don't deserve my energy.

That doesn't mean I suppress them.

It means I notice them.

For example, I have always preferred stories with a happy ending.

Recently, I started challenging myself to watch stories that don't end well.

Instead of immediately saying:

"I don't like this."

I ask:

"Why did this happen?"

"What choices brought this person here?"

"If this person had made a different decision, would the outcome have changed?"

Now I am learning from what I am watching instead of simply judging it.

That is mindfulness to me.

Look.

Notice.

Learn.

Then bring it into Inner Dialogue.

The same applies to painful experiences.

Someone may hurt you.

Your mind may produce anger.

You may feel betrayed.

You may want revenge.

You may replay what happened again and again.

Those thoughts are real experiences.

But a thought is not automatically a command.

You can think:

"I hate what happened."

without allowing hatred to become your entire life.

You can acknowledge:

"I was hurt."

without allowing that person to continue controlling your present.

So I ask myself:

"What am I doing with this thought?"

Am I using it to understand myself?

Or am I allowing it to consume me?

This is where mindfulness gives me space.

Inner Dialogue gives me conversation.

And alignment gives me choice.

I don't need to have only positive thoughts.

I need to become more conscious of my thoughts.

Because I cannot control every thought that enters my mind.

But I can become more intentional about which thoughts I feed.

Which thoughts I explore.

Which thoughts I act upon.

And which thoughts I allow to pass.

So don't waste your thoughts.

Use your thoughts.

Learn from them.

Question them.

Understand them.

And when necessary, let them go.

Don't let every thought decide who you are.

               

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When Life Tests Your Patience, Use Your Inner Dialogue

 

When Life Tests Your Patience, Use Your Inner Dialogue

You know why I'm smiling?

Because all my gadgets went haywire this morning.

My Touch 'n Go ran out of credit, and when I tried to get into my Maybank, it wasn't working.

My Pilates app wasn't working either. I couldn't reset it, and I don't even know why.

Then my PC started hanging.

It recorded my Live, but it couldn't process it.

And I'm sitting there thinking:

Okay, Peggy. This is testing your patience.

Isn't life funny?

Sometimes the very thing you are talking about suddenly appears in front of you.

I was just talking about patience, and then my gadgets decided to give me a practical examination.

What Do I Want?

When my Touch 'n Go wasn't working, I was almost frustrated.

I'm so used to using e-wallets now.

Everyone uses QR payments.

And suddenly, I'm standing in front of a vendor thinking:

"Hey, I have money in my wallet. Why can't I use it?"

That feeling can hit your ego immediately.

But I didn't let the frustration take over.

Instead, I asked myself:

What do I want?

I decided to use cash.

Long time no use cash!

And you know what?

It was fine.

The only thing was that I had to start dealing with those little coins again.

But it worked.

And that became another reminder:

When one way doesn't work, it doesn't mean nothing will work.

Sometimes you simply need another way.

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Patience Doesn't Mean You Stop Moving

 

Patience Doesn't Mean You Stop Moving

This is where I want to make a distinction.

When you have patience, sometimes you need to wait.

But sometimes patience has already done its job.

You have waited.

You have observed.

You have accepted.

And now—

you need to act.

That's when you need to release the patience button.

You don't keep saying, "I need to be patient."

No.

You need to move.

For me, that meant resetting my phone.

Resetting my PC.

Trying another way.

Finding solutions.

And interestingly, when I am not frustrated, the solutions come much more easily.

That is the power of Inner Dialogue.

The conversation becomes:

Okay. It happened. Accept it.

Then:

What's next?

And then:

Take action.

Awareness.

Conversation.

Alignment.

Simple.

Very fast.

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Patience Is Also Part of Learning

And then I was looking at the lyrics of the song I'm learning.

Now, let me tell you something.

I am not Chinese-educated.

I am learning Chinese.

And this time, I'm learning Cantonese.

The words can look familiar, but the pronunciation is completely different.

So yes—

this is where I need patience.

I've been listening to this song for two days, and I still couldn't remember all the lyrics.

Previously, I might have thought:

"Why can't I remember this?"

But yesterday, while talking to everyone here, I had another conversation with myself.

Why don't I break the song into portions?

Four lines at a time.

That's what I did.

And suddenly, it worked.

I memorised the first portion.

Now I can work on the next portion.

Then another.

Eventually, I put everything together.

And something beautiful happens when you do that.

You almost begin to see the words transforming as the lyrics come out.

Suddenly, I can sing the song.

Not perfectly.

But I can sing it.

And that is progress.

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I'm an Auntie With a Very Full Head

So yes, patience is needed.

Especially for an auntie like me.

Because I have so much information in my head.

So many thoughts.

So many things I want to learn.

And sometimes I ask myself:

Which one comes first?

That is exactly why I practise Inner Dialogue.

When I was feeling impatient about learning the song, the first level was awareness.

I cannot finish learning the song because I don't know the words.

Accept it.

I don't know.

But not knowing doesn't mean I'm weak.

It simply means:

This is something I can learn.

Then comes conversation.

How do I move this feeling out of the way?

Instead of becoming frustrated and trying to learn the entire song again and again, I asked myself what would actually help.

The answer was simple:

Break it down.

Four lines.

Then another four.

Then another.

And that immediately moved me into alignment.

Action.

I practised.

And I progressed.

That's how Inner Dialogue can work.

Awareness.

Conversation.

Alignment.

Sometimes it happens so quickly that you don't even realise you're doing it.

You notice.

You decide.

You act.

You move on.

You advance.

And then you do it again.

                    

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Even a Coach Is Still Learning

 Even a Coach Is Still Learning

And this reminds me of something I was sharing about myself.

I am learning songs.

And yes, I was doing it wrong.

Actually, perhaps “wrong” isn't the right word.

I was simply learning it in a way that wasn't working for me.

Then suddenly, I realised something:

Why don't I just learn four lines at a time?

So yesterday, I tried it.

Four lines.

That's it.

And suddenly, it made so much more sense.

Now I can sing the first four lines.

Today, I'm going to learn the next four lines.

And eventually, when I have completed the whole song, maybe I'll sing it for you.

See?

This is also Inner Dialogue.

I noticed what wasn't working.

I had a conversation with myself.

And then I changed my approach.

That is alignment.

A Coach Is Human First

Sometimes we put coaches, teachers, healers and people in helping professions on a pedestal.

But let me remind you:

A coach is human first.

Before I am a coach, I am a human being.

I forget things.

I make mistakes.

I learn.

I experiment.

I get frustrated.

I discover new ways of doing things.

I sometimes need to stop and ask myself:

"Peggy, is this really working for you?"

And perhaps that is exactly what allows us to become better coaches.

Because when we remember what it feels like to be human, we can meet another human being where they are.

We don't have to pretend that we have everything figured out.

We simply need to be willing to listen—to ourselves and to others.

So perhaps the miracle is not something extraordinary arriving in your life.

Perhaps the miracle is much closer.

You woke up today.

You are here.

You have another opportunity to listen to yourself.

Another opportunity to choose.

Another opportunity to move.

Another opportunity to become more aligned with who you are.

And that, to me, is already a miracle.

Coach is always human first before they are a coach.

And perhaps being human is not something we need to overcome.

Perhaps being human is exactly where our wisdom begins. 

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