There is always a story to tell.

 Have you ever come across an incident that you could not get over the fact that someone can do it better than you? Now be honest. I do. That was when I acted as all humans do. Now I paused a while and then shifted my view from why to what. Yes. Seek my monkey mind and then process it to the situation. Every conversation always comes clean to deliver a message or share an idea. Simple right? Now, what makes it into an argument or disagreement?

There are an estimated 60,000-80,000 thoughts per day. Wow!!! We are all such impressive machines. But how many people put those ideas into action and how many people The monkey mind silencer is what everyone can have. Therefore, what makes it so difficult to do so. I know it is something the owner of the thoughts can take control of because I have tested this. Am I perfect then? My kakak (sister) shared an article The Leaking bucket which I reflected that I am not perfect. I must also change so that the whole environment change. This process will need to break a lot of habits and beliefs. And I have started. Tame my monkey mind have made me see my fault clearer and save myself about 50,000 useless thoughts and empower my energy to useful thoughts. Build my persona confidently.

How I do it? In getting clarity that I need someone to share my ideas with pop up frequently as I dive deeper into internal solution. I need someone who I trusted and listen without judgement. Initially, I engaged a coach for this tame my monkey mind process. Then I started to coach which allow me to concentrate on my participants with full anticipation due to my experience. This process not only help my participant in finding clarity, it did not give me time to procrastinate. IAC 9 Masteries have a series of questioning that as a coach I have to utilize. From a participant (coachee), the journey can only grow to be more effective. In helping others to discover their goals in taming the monkey mind, I also help them to empower themselves coachee/participants and have less time for myself. 

My passion now is concentrated towards helping students and graduate by coaching them to address the issue of taming the monkey mind. The next is helping them to discover their pure value and achieve their goal in the career path. 

Want to share your story with me? Many people will not know how to deal with the reality as culture face rejection as failure. Let's change the culture together and let you tell your story with confident. Be the person that you wanted to be when you leave school and meet the world with full confidence and dreams. You should never lick your wound alone. I have done that so I am here for you.

The art of saying NO.

 This is a very interesting topic. When I started to work, I am without any good certification except an average grade in SPM. For those who are not familiar with Malaysia’s education during my era let me give you a brief on this. It is compulsory for all children of age 7 to start education for six years primary and five years secondary. We complete our education at the age of 17 years old. After that some will leave for overseas to further their study while others will stay back in the local university. It was a costly expenditure for most family at that time. The last year which is also the Form Five year, it is compulsory to sit for a life time opportunity exam namely SPM. If you score then maybe you can get scholarship from private firm or our government.

I was an average student and have never really known the reason to study hard. Working seems to be the only alternative I have. I have made a vow that I will not use any money from my family when I graduated at the age of 17 years old. I have kept that promise till now and maybe because of that I never say NO to opportunity to work. I will do any job as long as it is legal and will give me a chance to grow.  Without a solid education background, I have limited choices. The only choice I have is keep saying yes to all the work which I do not enjoy but can help me to survive. I even worked over time to get extra money even if it is just a little extra. Thankfully I was energetic and healthy which bosses like because I never take Medical Leave. I took the advantage to say YES to any task that is new to me or in any area within my job scope. It helped me in getting the knowledge I wanted and the promotion I needed. My gratitude to all those who have given me guidance and patient in teaching me.

My first breakthrough came when I was employed by Ramada Renaissance Melaka. The first five-star hotel then. I was employed as a waitress and was extremely lucky that on the first day of work, I was “promoted” to Front Office Cashier. From there, I learned everything I could again by saying yes to all opportunities. The management of the hotel is extremely generous, they will always pay me over time for doing the extra work. Within a short span of time, I learned enough to be promoted to Chief cashier at the age of 19.  I have been informed by my ex-colleague that I remain the youngest chief cashier they have. I stand to be corrected because the hotel wind down business during the pandemic. Such a beautiful place with beautiful team. So sad to know but I am blessed to have a part of them with me in my memory.

Now after my story, you must be thinking what is this link between the story and the topic. I was battling with the same question on how to say NO when I have been saying YES, all this time.  I was addressing a conversation with someone on this topic. It prompted me to rethink about what and when to say YES to something should be NO to another. As you might know now, I gain all my experience through working hard and saying YES to tasks that seems impossible to me but it is all towards the development of my department and my job. Therefore, it is the right thing to do and appropriate action in this matter.

Most probably this is the reason many people do not know how to say NO. They might think that by saying NO is not expected and they lost the chance to grow. However, if the request is taking up your time and you failed to complete your goals then saying NO is the only way to survive. Business is always business, if you go out of your way to help someone without paying attention to the task in hand, this is irresponsible act. Your act of compassion might also be creating trouble for your career. Think about this.

There are a few types of people who likes to ask for help and I just use a few I know. I learned to say NO to these categories of people and I find that by saying NO, I am saying YES to many outcomes.

1.     People who do not know what they are doing.My answer of NO is usually accompanied by a suggestion or a recommendation for them to search for answer. I will keep a look out for their next question because they are asking for clarity instead of just finishing a task.

2.    People who are lazy.I have to evaluate this kind of person for at least three times because I say NO. This is to give them a chance to learn that nobody is at their disposal. The rest is up to them to decide or look for another victim.

3.    People who are bossy. At my present position, I can just say NO right? But it is good to keep a relationship with this kind of character because they made me see who I do not want to be. I will be very innovative in my NO and yet the friendship remains mutual. This is where the art of communication will slide in.

Let’s have some thoughts going here. What kind of situation will you address and how do your maneuvers yourself out of the sticky situation when you need to say NO but still respected by this answer? 

Mindset Beauty

 When I first arrived in Groningen for spending valuable time with my daughter, I did not have any expectation. I learned through self coaching, acceptance of the moment is the most valuable assets I have. Everything becomes a new experience.

Departure gate in KLIA was such a sorry situation. A beautiful gigantic peaceful airport suddenly become a grave yard of emotion. To add damage to situation, my departure time is midnight which added the sense of nostalgia seeing this beauty turns into such a painful for experience. Everything is closed and I kept wondering when our glory will come back. When will people start to travel and start to invest in Malaysia? I hope there is going to be a huge wake up calls to ensure we get back our pride and joy revitalizing Malaysia together as a nation who care for our country.

The experience of arriving into DOHA airport is a total different atmosphere. Everywhere is full of people and bustling with live. This is helping the situation in the pandemic because people just observe SOP and live their life to the fullest.

Upon arrival into Groningen, everything went smoothly. I believe they trust the individual with their own health. Even with Corona Virus, they are still living their life as usual and enjoy the time of being with the community. Each are responsible for their own safety and health. It is a good policy. Nobody can force you to take care of yourself if the depression is outcome of the regulation. They are happy people having very strong mindset of getting healthy. Except in compliance to the regulations, people here just have happiness healthy juice as their daily vitamin. Cycling around in the township with fresh air is enough to boost their energy and live in peace with the virus.

I hope that everyone I know will take responsibility of living to their best and live with the virus in harmony. One thing for sure - Corona Virus is staying. The question is, are you finishing your life or starting your life with this pandemic?