What is your success?

 

I have been attending so many courses that I thought I know everything. The best part of this is, I really do not know what I thought I know. Do I consider myself successful? What is your thought on this?

 

I certainly discover that in life, there are many ways to a solution. I have written an article about my friend’s fear of attending a dinner with me. I repented and the surprising part of it is he see the values of my unintentional response. Do I expect this? No. But I have been using coaching methods on many occasions and this jab just came spontaneously. Hey! I am only human. Anyway, the good news is that he did join us for the dinner and was pretty happy too. In fact, he was so relaxing  in that environment.  In these circumstances, I consider myself failed in addressing the spur of the moment response which might be rude or hurtful. On the other hand, my friend gain insight of life in pandemic is living the fear out. Or should I said he decided to leave the fear out when he already practicing all the needed SOP. The bonus of this outcome is we had a wonderful dinner out.

 

Ever since the coaching started, I am fully concentrated on creating this coaching culture. In many of my conversation, the methods of addressing an issue have been diverted to coaching methods. On certain occasions I can see the fear leaping from the cornea of their eyes. It is really scary but I know it makes them think very hard on what just happened. I can see them fidgeting with themselves – unconsciously. Others will be having anger thrown at me. All of this, I take it as a reward. What makes me say this? It means that I am hitting a cord. A cord they do not want to strum.

 

Now, take a moment and think. If you have someone who push you to be yourself, what will your response be? Some people will think that I am nuts to care so much with what they do because it is their life that they are playing with. As for me, I will pursue this because everyone has a network of people. The more they ignore their issues the more toxic their life will be. I am more concerned of the chain reaction by the said person. Each one can be of some values to others and that is what I am doing passionately when I coach. We need our environment to be peaceful and harmony. Only when this happen, the world will be a better place for the next generation and so on.

 

I also have my own selfish reason for doing this. I have a lovely daughter who turn 21 this year. I hope to see that she lives in an environment of challenges where coaching culture is the solution. I know that this is the best method for anyone to create a life building their passion. They will be able to explore with clarity and accept failure bravely. Simple request from a mother and a small act from me. I am passionate on coaching because I keep improving myself. By getting these values, I know I can help more people to achieve things that is beyond their reach. One very important ingredient is to find the one who really committed to themselves.

 

Are you one of those who knows your success factor(s) and are riding the storm to get it?

If not, there is always solutions when you see a problem. This is what my clients inform me. After his second coaching session with me, he told me that he loves problems. What makes him say this? He said that he knows that he will be able to get solution(s). It is such a wonderful feeling to see the wisdom shine through.

 

You too can have these. When you are ready , look for me or a coach who can walk with you on your journey through coaching conversation.

Action or reaction?

 

Action or reaction?

 I was pondering on what can I write about today. I did not continue to write because I was busy with personal activities that needs constant traveling. An excuse which does not make sense but with so much floating in my mind, I guess it is time to pen it down.

 

The topic today is Action or reaction. I find this interesting because there are so many ways to see this. In the dictionary.com there are so many explanations which intrigue me. Now, this is one I like most because it relates to what I want to share today.

 

Action is an act that one consciously wills and that may be characterized by physical or mention activities.

Reaction is a reverse movement or tendency: an action in a reverse direction or manner.

 

Based on this, it means that one is using the thought thinking process while the other is a spontaneous act. Which is more useful when you are making a big decision? Some will say Action while others might choose Reaction. Is that all? No, there will be more people with different outlook of these two words. This is also some of the reasons dictionary gives you a few explanations.

 

I will see it from my point of view and what I have done to arrive at whatever decisions I made.

 

Action story, I was walking with a friend and invited him for a dinner. Being me, I am a diehard of uncertainty and challenges. I will go to the deep end search of solutions. Did I get them? Not always but there are always new lessons from every search.  So, this dinner is done with strict SOP as per requirements because I have my DOM (Dear Ole Mom) with me and I am an obedient citizen too. The point of this is that he immediately goes into FOD (Fear of Dying) and FTL(Forgot to live) which irritate me. Remember, I am a human so I have reacted spontaneously by saying if you fear so much then don’t join us – this is reaction.  Cruel right? I think so too and now I am repenting even though he deserves it. It is not about him or others, it is all about me. How I react is very important and constant coaching needs to be address because of one very important entity – WE ARE HUMAN. This is also the beautiful part – that we can reach our highest potential when we act with clarity.

 

There is no right or wrong, I should be respectful of the fear and leave him to live it out since he is not coachable. I should accept the fact that not everyone is coachable unless they are ready. I have done many failed coaching just because on the passion to coach but the participants/clients are not serious about their life or they just want to test the coaching process. I have many successful coaching sessions too. When I compare the success factors, I realized that action and reaction play a major role in many of the issues faced by my participants. Some took action to be coach but not committed to themselves. Therefore, I will categorize them as reaction to coach because they think coaching can give them the miracle they wanted. They hope you can help them to reverse their life into a fairy tale without turbulence. It is painful to see this kind of thinking because coaches, most of them can see the potential of their clients clearly when the clients are transparent and honest. The successful one takes full responsibility of their decisions and take action. They will find ways to pave it towards their goal with coaching conversation. What coaches open up are the unspoken , unseen and unheard voices of the participants. It is an intimate conversation  relationship which creates the following situations .

1.      What happened just now?

2.      How come I did not see it?

3.      What can I do about it?

 

Opening the doors in the world of monkey mind is tough but always possible. Take action and do not rely on reaction to gain control of your act. The act to show the world , to show yourself that you can create values.

 

Look for a good coach and you will know what I mean.

 

For my profile, you can see me at www.3secsoulution.com

 

Wrong or right?

Life presents itself to us without expectation. Humans are the one that put layers after layers of philosophy to prove that they are right.

In the world of intellectuals, to be seen as uneducated is viewed as an embarrassment. If you are having this kind of thoughts then it is time to discard it. You will only be learning more when you are looking at something you do not know and clearly admit it. After a while, it becomes a habit I call learning.

Many disagreements arise from just this simple situation. What makes me say this? Well! If you have read my posting or articles, you would understand that I do not post things that I have not experienced before. I used to have such a big ego that to be right is the only way towards success. Gradually, I learned to accept that my right is just one very small segment of the whole situation. It is more of an ego boosting process which has no lasting effect or the hand me down education that I have - The boss is always right. Now that I have let go of this BS, I can see things clearer and learning is the key towards everything. And when I started coaching, I began to see clearly what are the issues behind many people's fears of success. YES, many people fear success no matter how much they wanted it. Weird right? But it is the truth. Fake it till you make it was a phrase many people used as a motivation. Some are really making it happen because they did not fake it, they really believe that they can do it. Are they wrong to use this method? If yes, who are you to tell a person what journey should be the right journey for him or her. Sometimes, you do not even know whether you are on the right path or not. At least, when you are on it you think you are right on tract but.... Just be aware that situation within your environment not necessary within your control. Then you can re-bounce back even when you lose control. You will only see it when it is being done and the result is out. It's like the Covid 19 PCR test, of late there are reports saying that it does not really give a clear answer as a person has contracted Covid 19 or it is just a normal flu. This tell you how much guess work is going on in our daily life even with proven scientific support. The co-relation between time and result will definitely give one something to ponder on.

Same thing goes for the Myejahtera apps questions which I find that it is really a very tough question to answer. Those symptoms given are so common within our life especially when our bones are cracking as we age. Therefore, are they wrong? Think about it when you update the status. I was having a huge problem answering them because of jet lag and some of the symptoms are due to other reasons.

Did any of you come across the two images that I shared? There was endless debate on who is right. But in the end, is there really an answer? Think how you apply this concept to your life. How can you decide whether you have fully embraced the life given to you in the highest capacity and glow every moment of the day?

Last but not least, I will like to encourage everyone to write an article. Just forget about perfection. Do it and you will see what I mean.

p/s You is just a phrase used to state a point and not an accusation to anyone