Richness in Communication

Sources indicated that communication dated back as far as 500,000 BCE while some indicated that it is about 100,000 BCE. The evolution on communication is happening every zeptosecond. Big word that causes no meaning to us. But this is what makes life memorable.  A small word can change the whole situation.

Then what does communication means? There are four types of Communcation which is known to us.

1. Verbal - different languages have different understanding of certain words and the tone of them too. It is pretty difficult to imagine this, but I will use a common joke that is used locally.

   When a woman tells you that they don't mind. Do your really think they don't mind? Then think again. 

2. Nonverbal. This is a very powerful weapon. Close your eyes now. Imagine your mother's expression when you are out of line in public. Ya! That's right. You got this.

3. Visual- By looking at things, you can speak millions of words without uttering any words. Take a look at people you like and people you dislike. Look at the eyes and see the emotions behind each smile.

4. Written communication. If written words can really give meaning to one then you are definitely a good writer. Even in the midst of preparing this blog, I am not sure you really get the meaning behind the written blog. I am doing my best and hope you do the same too when you write anything that needs resolutions. If you have a knack for writing powerful messages even to your enemy, then you have won a war without weapon.

Do you know that these can cause a lot of situations?  It can break or make a person into something totally out of their own character.

I am sure in this era, you have read or heard things that are unreal, but you believe. So, what do you gain from this? Do you think it is knowledge of the thing that might not be of any use to you, but you participated anyway. This is the gig economy era; everyone is using communication to slice into a market. Some words are used by the keyboard warrior to agitate more intense emotion. I am not saying all keyboard warriors are bad, they did what they think at that time which deem positive to them. For the reader, if you do not use your wisdom then you are too the cause for all the results. This is frequently used to hoax public about death of anyone.

In the future, when you come across anything toxic then you should have the ability to reevaluate the situation. You just need to google sources from the internet. If you really do not have solid evidence of the situation, then what can you do?

Previously, I wrote about Richness in Solutions. The solutions are for revengeful emotion. Communication can be the cause; it can also be the remedy. Think, Think and Think. This is to save you from hurting yourself,

Always remember, coaching gives clarity. If you know how to do this, then you will find the solutions in communication is also powerful in your conversation.

Forgiveness is RICH.

 The funny part of life is mistakes happen when you are too careful. Am I right to say this? In my path to share and encourage growth, I need to face a lot of challenges. Thankfully, revenge is not one of them. 

I learned forgiveness in hate. Surprised? Don't be. It is what you know that hurts you when you do not discover the root cause of that issue.

If you are reading this, it means that you have gone through my article on "Solutions is RICH".

Let's see what is there in forgiveness.

1.     Release of Negative Emotions

The art of forgiveness is like opening a door to life. It allows you to let go of all the negative emotions and fill them up with compassion. You can then free yourself from the extra baggage that does not have any purpose.

2.     Healing and Emotional well-being

Emotional healing is crucial to mental health. How do take survive when you are sick with hate and revengeful thoughts? You only will cause yourself more harm. If those who harm you are evil, you just give them another bonus. Forgive yourself for even thinking about revenge.

3.     Restoration of Inner Peace

Many people only find time to restore inner peace when they have a big blow from something bad or evil. This is the time to forgive and look in as you will definitely find the solutions are within your reach.

4.     Empowerment

Forgiveness is a choice. When you start to forgive, you will only see the beauty of your power. When you are hold on by revenge, you just handed your happiness like a remote control to your enemy. Think about this properly.

5.     Improved relationship

Revenge creates its own evil. It will grow into your mindset and jeopardize your relationship with those who love and care for you. This is because of the energy that you are emitting. You will always be in pain and people who are important in your life might leave you. So you better wake up and learn the art of forgiveness.

6.     Promotes Compassion and understanding

Forgiving someone takes a lot of guts and compassion. In order for you to achieve this status, you need to be wise. Find out the root cause and evaluate it. Are you sure that you are not the cause?

7.     Personal Growth

When you forgive, it is like a big stone lifted out from your heart and soul. The world becomes brighter the brain functions better. Everything that is bad or negative that happened to you has a reason. It is always there to teach us the beauty of our life. So what have you learned from this? Forget about revenge.

8.     Breaking the Cycle

In my previous posting, revenge is cyclical and always loops around your life. Good things will be bad and bad things will be more. You again have a choice to make this change.

9.     Spiritual and Philosophical benefits

Revenge eats you alive. It torments you every second of the day. How much more energy you can get if this happens? Now, if you learn to forgive then you have to release yourself spiritually and mentally from being tortured. This gives you many more benefits for the future. Think again about what benefits you have from taking revenge.

10. Letting go of the Past

The past is the past. Nobody and nothing can change that. What you get from the past is learning. Learning to be a better you. Learning to have a better life. Learning to be more successful and so on. Which will benefit you more? Past, present, or future? Your call.

 

As a Personal breakthrough coach, I do have clients who are having this. When they see the opportunities they have, revenge is irrelevant.

Please share if you love yourself as much as you love others.

Richness in Solutions

If you are reading this, it means that you might have read my topic on "Revenge! Is this Richness of your LIFE?"

The solution you are poisoned by revenge is a long journey. Since revenge does not bring anyone any benefits, let's dive into the solutions as an alternative to a better and richer life.

1. Forgiveness
This comes up as the top solution to revenge. This is the most powerful tool too.
It does not mean that you can forget and condone the wrongdoing. It simply means that by forgiving, you release yourself from being hurt in the future. There are more than this so please read my next posting "Forgiveness is rich"

2. Communication
Having a coaching conversation with your coach or the people that you trust might give you a clearer picture of the incident. It could just be a simple misunderstanding. If it is not attended the it becomes toxic and the pile-up of toxicity will happen. This is one of the most common reasons revenge appears in your life.

3. Seek mediation
If you are not able to communicate due to reasons which you only know then look for a trustworthy mediator. I personally like to face my problems or issues head-on because I get clarity faster and life becomes easier.

4. Legal Recourse
If laws are involved in your case, then settling it by seeking legal action will be a wise choice. Chinese have a proverb that said, “The more you repair, the blacker it will be”. Just face the truth because it might not be what you think it was.

5. Self-Care
Promote your self-care routine. Engaging in activities like yoga, meditation, singing, exercise or even traveling will be very therapeutic in addressing revenge intention.

6. Empathy
Use empathy to understand what causes the other person to hurt you. What was their intention? You might not like their way but with empathy, you might understand the cause.

7. Let Time Heal
Time is the best healer of all. Give yourself some breathing space and take a break for you to recover.

8. Focus on Positive Outcome
I used to be a drama queen and always went into chaos whenever anything happened. Though I do not have any need to take revenge, this point draws meaning. When I started to view all as positive, the solutions is pretty simple. The law of attraction will then circulate positive energy for me. This can be a good way to eliminate revenge from your list.

9. Support Network
We always say good friends are like jewels. A handful of these friends will bring you out of the revenge mood. This is also the best solution to have therefore keep your friendship strong with them.

10. Coaching culture
You can also seek coaches like me to support you on your journey in life without revenge. All solutions are embedded within you and you will know the answers through coaching. Coaching also is a way for one to share in a safe and private space of your own.


Revenge is actually an act of hurting yourself and those who love you. Are you ready to release this pain and live a life full of happiness? The choice is ALWAYS YOURS.

Revenge! Is this Richness of your LIFE?

Revenge is the act of one inflicting or harming another who might have wronged them in the past. The desire to take revenge comes from a positive intention of getting justice for one but the act of revenge is totally a negative act and causes more harm than good. Two wrongs done make a right.

The focal point of revenge branches into the following category.

 

1.    Intent: - An act that is fully in control of the doer with the intention to hurt and harm only.

 

2.    Negative emotion: - life is hard enough without positive emotion, when you add negative emotion, your life becomes tougher. Health becomes worse. Even your facial expressions become toxic.

 

3.    Retribution: You just wanted an answer to satisfy your own ego. If this is always other people's fault, who is the one giving them this right? THINK!

 

4.    Cyclical Nature: Revenge is cyclical nature. Your revengeful act will not have any ending. In the end, you are just looping and looping. The hurt will remain and the issues will never settle.

 

5.    Emotional Toll: Seeking revenge is so tiring for one who is just doing it out of anger or ego. It is all concentrating on the past. You forgot about the fact that you can never change the past. In the same instances, you lose your future.

 

Do you still want revenge? Is this your life or is this your prison?

What is your awareness of life?

After attending today's event by Winston Chew on Emotional Excellence in Coaching. I decided to share this piece of my thoughts.

Definition of Life: Life can indeed be defined as the existence of an individual human being or animal. It's the sum of experiences, consciousness, and the passage of time.

Living Life: Living life is a highly personal and subjective experience. Different people have different ways of approaching it. Some seek adventure, others prioritize stability, and some might even find solace in simplicity. How one lives life depends on their values, beliefs, and circumstances.

Knowledge and Life: It's true that we don't have all the knowledge about life, and there's always something new to learn. However, the pursuit of knowledge and self-discovery is an essential part of the human experience. We learn from our experiences, from others, and from seeking knowledge actively.

Challenges and Choices: Life can indeed be challenging, and people face difficult circumstances that lead to feelings of confusion or despair. It's essential to reach out for support in such situations, whether through friends, family, or professional help. Making choices in life can be influenced by our values, beliefs, emotions, and circumstances. Reflecting on your choices and seeking positive actions is a valuable practice.

Responsibility: Taking responsibility for your actions is a fundamental aspect of personal growth and maturity. It means acknowledging the consequences of your decisions, both good and bad, and learning from them. It also involves being accountable for your choices and their impact on yourself and others.

Coaching Culture: Promoting a coaching culture can be a valuable approach to help individuals grow and make better choices in life. Coaching encourages self-awareness, goal setting, and continuous improvement.

Gratitude and Learning: Expressing gratitude for the past, embracing mistakes, and learning from them are healthy attitudes that can lead to personal growth and a more positive outlook on life.

To remember that you have a life because you are SPECIAL. Keep living well and keep learning with me.

What have you taken for granted?

 Monkey see, monkey do.

Many people use this sentence but failed to notice that they themselves are an example to the people around them. This is because I was also one of the monkeys until I started to pay attention with clarity on all my actions and speech.

Let me tell you a story. This is the story between my grandniece and her teacher.

Teacher: What is the taste of apples?

My grandniece: it is salty.

Teacher: was shocked.

Then the teacher was curious and asked her parents thinking that my grandniece could have some confusion in taste. 

Do you know why? It is because her grandma always soaks the apples in salt water before letting them consume the apples.

You see. this is what happened. When a good intention changes the nature of anything. 

Therefore, if you come across any disagreements - always get the story from the horse's mouth.

Learning - is it necessary?

 Learning - is good. But using your knowledge is more important. What makes me say this? I went into full learning mode during pandemic because of the need to upskill myself. I have never been so intense in learning since I was super busy with family and business. Guess pandemic stopped me from dying of exhaustion and take time to smell the flowers. How many of you can resonate with this.

Based on historical data humans were hunters and gathers, children are the source of which work, and play is a combination of how one live. When Revolution hit the globe, people are sent to work in the agriculture lands and manufacturing plants. This in turn created landowners and lords. Next came the education system which happened during the 17th century, and it evolved into what we identify as the structure for education now. Then competition was put in as a form of test and exams. A scary phase for a lot of people which caused a lot of nail-biting situations. Depression, hatred, jealousy etc started to flow into the environment of learning. Something that is enjoyable as a tool of survival become a tool of killing emotions.

I like to share a real-life situation of mine. When my daughter was in Standard four of her primary school, her book went missing. She was so worried and decided to tell me. I advise her to confess to the teacher and take whatever punishments that came her way though it is not her fault. I will not go to the school to help her because I know she is capable of handling this on her own. Like an obedient child she has done what I taught her. To my surprise, she was accused lying. That she is making an excuse for not submitting her homework. This is my last straw because I taught her to be honest and be open to accepting any kind of punishment whenever she did anything wrong. To be accused of lying is a big sin for a teacher to do. This I settled with a strong letter to the headmaster. When it was settled, the teacher did not apologize. I accepted that because during that time the elders do not apologies no matter what happened. Two years later, her book appears on her desk. What does this tell you about being good in your education? 

There are cases where children are so stress that they dare not go home because they got a result that is not as good as the last one. They become very stressed and disturbed. 

20 years fast forward, I am glad that this kind of competition have slowly been replaced with understanding. However, I know of people who have their children going to tuition after tuition, special classes and etc. I hope their decisions does benefit the children when they all are in the world of working.

Fun and play are gone. In their place is repetition of hard work in a rat race.  

For the future generation of parents and children's which directions are you taking in view of all the historical data on learning. 

I just wish we have fun, play and learning all well balanced in this world of difference.