Are You at Cause or at Effect?

Sometimes, when I talk about inner dialogue, people think it has to be something complicated.

Honestly, I don't think it is.

Your inner dialogue already understands you better than anyone else in the world.

You don't need difficult words to have a conversation with yourself.

You simply need to listen.

Everything within us is constantly responding — physically, mentally and emotionally. We are interacting with the people and environment around us, and we are constantly picking up signals, feelings and information.

That is why I often ask people who come into my TikTok Live:

“What made you pop into my room today?”

And if you keep coming back, I wonder:

“What is it that feels good for you here?”

For me, this is also about energy.

People sometimes tell me that when I speak, I sound very spiritual.

But I don't really see myself that way.

I simply feel.

I can feel when I am in a good space, and I can also feel when I am not.

And when I am not in a good space, I usually don't force myself to go live.

That's why I don't promise that I will appear every day.

I come in when I am able to.

Because I want the human part of me to be present when I share.

I want what I say to be something you can actually use in your own life — spontaneously, naturally, without needing a textbook.

So, are you at cause or at effect?

This was the question I wanted everyone to think about during the Live.

Let me give you a very simple example.

Imagine you are travelling in a car, bus or boat.

You are sitting there, and the vehicle is taking you from Point A to Point B.

While you are travelling, you can observe what is happening around you.

You might notice the traffic.

You might notice someone's behaviour.

You might notice something that doesn't feel quite right.

Sometimes, before something happens, there are little indications.

You just have to be present enough to notice them.

But what happens when you put on your earphones, stare at your phone and completely switch off from your surroundings?

You may miss everything.

Then suddenly something happens — and you wonder:

“Why didn't I see this coming?”

This is what I mean by being at effect.

You are simply allowing circumstances to happen to you.

Being at cause, on the other hand, doesn't mean you can control everything.

You can't.

It means you take ownership of what you can do.

For example, I came prepared for my Live.

I had two gadgets.

If one didn't work, I had another one.

Why?

Because I didn't want to be at the mercy of the situation.

I prepared myself.

That is being at cause.

But here's where inner dialogue becomes powerful.

Whenever something happens and I feel myself becoming angry, frustrated or agitated, I go into my inner dialogue.

I ask:

“Why am I feeling this way?”

Then:

“Is this something I have a choice over?”

And if I have a choice:

“What can I do about it?”

If I don't have a choice, then the situation has still happened.

So the question becomes:

“What is the solution now?”

That question changes everything.

Because you move from reacting to responding.

From blaming to understanding.

From frustration to finding your next step.

I used to talk to myself too.

When I was managing a company, I thought I was already very good at talking to myself.

I wasn't.

I talked to myself as a blamer.

“Why am I so stupid?”

“Why did I do that?”

“Why am I so silly?”

“Why did I create this problem?”

Why?

Why?

Why?

But there was no solution.

Today, I see the difference.

A powerful inner dialogue isn't about continuously questioning yourself.

It is about becoming a solution seeker.

You can acknowledge:

“Yes, I did something that I shouldn't have done.”

And then ask:

“Okay. What can I do now?”

That is a completely different conversation.

You don't need to punish yourself to learn.

You need to understand yourself.

Your inner voice can become a bridge.

This is what I mean when I talk about inner dialogue.

There is the voice inside you.

And then there is the person or situation standing in front of you.

Your inner dialogue becomes the bridge between the two.

You listen internally.

Then you choose how you respond externally.

That's why I keep encouraging people to practise inner dialogue.

It is something you already own.

It is free.

It is available 24/7.

And, most importantly, you don't have to wait for somebody else to give you permission to have a conversation with yourself.

When you are stuck, ask:

“What can I do right now?”

And if you still can't find the answer, sometimes you simply need to change the way you approach the problem.

One practice I personally find useful is Ho'oponopono:

I'm sorry.
Please forgive me.
Thank you.
I love you.

In Chinese:

对不起。
原谅我。
谢谢你。
我爱你。

You don't always have to understand everything immediately.

Sometimes you simply need to create space within yourself.

Another little experiment I sometimes suggest is writing with your non-dominant hand for a few minutes.

Don't overthink it.

Just write.

Sometimes changing the way you approach something allows a different part of you to speak.

And this brings me back to the question.

The next time something happens in your life, before immediately blaming someone else — or yourself — pause.

Ask:

Am I at cause?

or

Am I at effect?

You may not be able to control the situation.

But you can always become curious about your response.

You can ask:

“What am I feeling?”

“What choice do I have?”

“What can I do now?”

That is where inner dialogue becomes practical.

Not something deep and mysterious.

Not something reserved for spiritual people.

Just a conversation with yourself.

A conversation where you stop being your own critic...

and start becoming your own solution seeker.

And perhaps, that is one small way of awakening your worth — by learning to trust the wisdom of your own voice.

— Peggy Ang
Inner Dialogue Coach
Awakening Your Worth
Trusting the wisdom of your voice

Footnote: this is the transcript from my tikTok live session on 7th Aug 2026 1700hrs 

onwards.#peggyang57 #awakeningyourworth #innerdialogue #coachingculture #bazireader #oraclecards #transformation #change #mindser #carljung #stoicism #emotion #energyvampire #tiktokliveworld