How Does One Achieve a Breakthrough? The effect.

This reflects the experiences of many people in life. They want to break through their challenges, but how can they do it? Some manage it by staying quiet, while others shout their intentions to anyone who will listen.

Personally, I've been stuck in a cycle for many years until I began to discover my inner child.

When you observe others expressing their frustrations or dissatisfaction, you may have a different opinion based on how well you know them. Generally, these types of people can be categorized as follows:

1. Learned Helplessness

They may feel powerless to change their circumstances, believing their efforts won't make a difference, even if they try. For example, I have a friend who is afraid of dying. He perceives news about toxins as good news, which he uses to manipulate people. He relies on fear to mask his sense of helplessness.

2. Negative Thinking

Some individuals tend to focus on problems rather than solutions, often exaggerating the negatives while ignoring the positives. For instance, when I had the opportunity to apply for government support for my daughter, someone warned me to be cautious because the government would create problems, even if all her criteria matched the requirements.

3. Victim Mentality

These individuals see themselves as perpetual victims of circumstance, believing that life is unfair and that others are to blame for their problems. I have a friend who believes that he deserves recognition for his help to others in their careers. When he isn't acknowledged, he reacts with intense anger.

4. Lack of Accountability

Some people avoid taking responsibility for their situation, choosing instead to externalize blame rather than introspect or make constructive changes. They may assert that their behavior is justified, claiming that others are incompetent.

5. Low Emotional Regulation

Individuals may struggle to manage their emotions constructively, often venting their frustrations instead of channeling them into productive actions.

6. Desire for Validation or Attention

Complaints can arise from a need for sympathy, validation, or attention from others as a way to feel heard or valued. I know a guy who justifies lying as his right. He lies to escape trouble and often succeeds, believing that as long as he can maintain his deception, he appears capable.

7. Fear of Failure

Many people avoid trying new things out of fear of failing, thus refraining from taking any action. In businesses, change is constant. To succeed, one must diligently evaluate outcomes with wisdom. Those who fail often do so out of fear. You can easily identify these characters around you.

8. Procrastination or Lack of Motivation

Some may lack the drive or discipline to pursue their goals or confront their issues, using complaints as a coping mechanism for inaction. They often believe that if they do nothing, problems will solve themselves.

9. Overwhelmed by Challenges

Life can feel so overwhelming that they may not know where to start, leading to paralysis and reliance on venting as an emotional outlet. Some resort to unhealthy coping mechanisms like excessive indulgence or depression. I’ve found that helping others, even when I’m struggling, has often brought me clarity and healing.

10. Low Self-Esteem

Such individuals may not believe in their ability to create change, leading to passivity and self-pity rather than action. You can identify them by their tendency to blame everyone except themselves. When you encounter someone like this, it can be helpful to simply listen and acknowledge their feelings by saying, "You are seen, heard, and understood." You might be surprised by the outcome.

Deep dive into these and which is your obstacles. Just be reminded that there is no wrong or right. You just need to have crystal clear idea of what can give you a faster breakthrough path. It is difficult to identify them but I am sure you can because I did it too.

Read the continuation on 16th Jan 2025 Breaking Through Challenges: Understanding the Cause

 

回馈社会：反思

 **回馈社会：反思**

我经常反思一个问题：“回馈”到底意味着什么？在这个有时感觉每个人都期望有所回报的世界里，这个概念似乎变得复杂。获得回报的想法可以以各种形式出现——金钱、精神支持，甚至是个人成长。

在我看来，付出和获得往往是一种交换，不论我们是否意识到。这让我再次思考：回馈是只有那些有能力的人才能做到的事情吗？我认为，仅仅活着并努力做到最好，已经是我们有能力回馈的有力证明。

让我们暂时把注意力从物质礼物转移到我们独特的能力上。我邀请你考虑三件简单而真诚的事情，这些事情是你今天可以为世界所做的礼物。

每天开始时，选择其中一件送出，无论它看起来多么微小。通过这样做，你可能会发现自己对周围的世界是多么有价值。拥抱这个机会，通过你的行动、善意和心灵去回馈社会。💖

作为一名教练，我愿意分享我的故事，来激发您的思考和反思。每个人心中都有相似的希望与梦想，而您的故事也能启发他人追求改变。 

如果您渴望我的指导和支持，请随时与我联系。让我们一起启程，激发潜能，共同成长！

email: peggyangprivate@live.com.my

whatsapp: +60123996326 

Embracing Self-Love: A Journey of Discovery

 Embracing Self-Love: A Journey of Discovery

Have you ever encountered the metaphor of the "Styrofoam cup"? If not, I encourage you to explore it—it’s a powerful illustration of self-love that has resonated with many.

When you search for self-love online, you’ll often find definitions like "caring for one's own well-being and happiness." While these words sound nice, they barely scratch the surface of a concept that many of us struggle to fully understand.

After embarking on my own journey of self-discovery, I realized that self-love is so much more than mere words. Here are some key steps that have helped me along the way:

1. Reflect on Your 'Why.'
I used to shy away from asking "Why?"—a question that often triggers defensiveness in others. However, a pivotal moment for me was discovering Simon Sinek’s message: “Focus on YOURSELF in 2025.” This made me realize that I needed to embrace my true self.

For a long time, I believed that as long as I did good, everything would turn out fine. Yet, my life felt unfulfilled. I was driven by a need for recognition, doing things for others out of fear of being an outcast. This realization was eye-opening.

2. The Power of Helping Really Well.
A story that recently changed my perspective features two friends, Moon and Sun. When Moon secretly assisted Sun with his financial struggles, it backfired—Sun felt disrespected and unvalued, ultimately leading to their fallout.

This story highlights important lessons about helping others:

• Ask Before You Act: Help must come from a place of request, not assumption.
• Empower Through Encouragement: Offer motivation and solutions, allowing others to find their own path.
• Practice Empathy: Be present without interference—sometimes, the best support is to let them walk their journey alone.
• Awareness of Karma: Remember, every unrequested assistance can weigh heavily on your own life.

The essence of self-love is understanding that each individual is on their own unique journey. We are born alone and will ultimately leave this world alone—our paths are ours to navigate.

You might be thinking, “I practice self-love; I know this already.” If that resonates, why are you still reading? The universe has a way of sending us lessons when we’re ready to learn them.

If you find yourself questioning your current understanding of self-love, consider reaching out to me. Let’s have a coaching conversation centered on purpose and alignment. You can connect by sending me a request or emailing me directly. Together, we can explore this vital journey of self-discovery.

Discovering Purpose: A Journey of Growth and Alignment

Have you ever felt that everything in your life was perfect, and you didn’t want to rock the boat? Perhaps you had a routine that felt just right, or relationships that seemed harmonious, and you feared any change might disrupt this delicate balance. That sense of contentment, where you believe nothing could disrupt the harmony you’ve worked so hard to achieve?

And then, unexpectedly, the truth hits you—the realization that staying the same is no longer enough, and change is inevitable to grow and thrive.

I was in that very situation. I believed that as long as I fulfilled my duties and lived according to the life I envisioned, nothing could harm me.

But I’m here to tell you—I was wrong.

Why? Because life is unpredictable, and standing still in a world that demands change is a risk in itself.

In my career, I led multiple companies entrusted to me with a trial-and-error approach. My leadership generated high returns, and my bosses deemed it sufficient. Yet, deep down, I knew that without innovation and adaptability, those companies would struggle to meet future targets. Even my capabilities had their limits.

Uncertain of where to turn, I made the bold decision to resign. I sought my own path, but the challenges persisted. The business environment remained tough, and I lacked the resources to proceed.

That’s when I embarked on my coaching journey—a path that has been immensely rewarding. Coaching not only allowed me to grow but also transformed the way I view challenges and possibilities. It pushed me to confront my own limitations, expand my mindset, and embrace continuous learning. This personal growth has given me the tools and perspective to help my clients thrive as they navigate their own journeys. It’s incredibly fulfilling to witness how discovering one’s true north—their core values and purpose—can lead to a sustainable and meaningful life. Through this journey, clients learn not just to avoid setbacks but to fall forward, using challenges as stepping stones.

However, not all clients approach coaching with the same mindset. Some seek quick solutions or mentoring instead of genuine growth. They want short-term fixes, which often lack sustainability. For those who aren’t ready to grow, this approach might seem easier. Thankfully, I’ve also worked with many clients who are committed to finding their own path. Is this process easier? Definitely not.

In coaching, transparency with one’s emotions and thoughts is crucial. Clients must confront their own truths and break free from ego, cultural constraints, and limiting beliefs. For many, this is the hardest part—but also the most transformative.

That’s why I advocate for a coaching culture—a space where individuals are encouraged to be curious, open, and proactive about their growth. It involves fostering honest conversations, promoting self-awareness, and empowering people to take ownership of their decisions, creating a ripple effect of positive change in their personal and professional lives. While challenging, it empowers individuals to take authentic, value-driven actions, leading to lasting growth and fulfillment. Coaching is not just about finding answers but about developing the capacity to create sustainable solutions through action.

After each coaching session, the next critical step is decision-making. Actions must follow. Without this, even the most insightful coaching loses its power.

For those who are unable or unwilling to embrace this process, a mentor, consultant, or advisor might be a better fit. But for those who are ready to grow and sustain their progress, I am here to guide you every step of the way.

This is what anchors me in coaching as my profession. It gives life more meaning—both for myself and for those I work with.

So, what is your decision? Are you ready to start a coaching conversation and take the next step in your journey? If so, your first step is as simple as reaching out to me via email—we’ll discuss your goals and explore how coaching can align with your aspirations.

If so, please email me at peggyang868@gmail.com.

Remember, even choosing not to act is a decision. The choice is yours. Good luck with your journey.

Reflections on Life, Death, and Purpose

Reflections on Life, Death, and the Journey In Between 

About a decade ago, I came across an article about death therapy. It shifted how I see life entirely.  

In every life, there’s one absolute truth: if there is birth, there will be death. Yet, in many cultures, death remains taboo—a subject people avoid because it forces us to confront our impermanence. This reluctance is understandable. We spend so much of our lives chasing dreams, goals, and fulfillment, clinging to the idea of permanence. But the truth is, we come into this world with nothing, and when our time is up, we leave with nothing.  

What is life really about, then?  

Life is a journey of challenges, growth, and lessons. Every single one of us faces this, whether we choose it or not. I’ve come to see our bodies as leasehold properties—vessels for the soul, energy, or whatever you believe animates us. When the lease expires, we leave this physical form behind and move on. Different religions and philosophies interpret this transition in their own ways, shaped by culture and belief. There’s no absolute right or wrong here, just perspective.  

I’ve faced my fair share of struggles. There were times I wanted to give up, to disappear and let life move on without me. But my 12-year journey of self-discovery taught me a powerful lesson: if I want to break free from recurring patterns and pain, I need to face and resolve them in this lifetime.  

So, I chose to stay. I chose to face the challenges, no matter how hard they seemed. 

As a coach, people sometimes expect me to have it all figured out. But the truth is, coaches are human too. We’ve had our struggles, and many of us chose this path because we’ve turned our pain into purpose. By sharing our experiences, we hope to help others navigate their own challenges, fostering empathy, resilience, and compassion in those we support.  

I used to fear death. Stories and images—many from movies—had planted deep fears in my unconscious mind. But as I’ve grown older, that fear has faded. What I fear now isn’t death itself, but the possibility of not completing my journey or fully appreciating the gift of life. So, I promised myself this: no matter what happens, I’ll trust that every challenge is happening *for me*.  

What about you? Are you afraid of dying? 

If you are, know that you’re not alone. And if life ever feels so overwhelming that you want to give up, please hold on. Remember this: those who hurt you don’t care, but the ones who care about you would never want to see you hurt. Take your time, rebuild your strength, and face the world again.  

If it feels too heavy to carry alone, reach out for help. There are people who care—friends, family, coaches, or even helplines. You don’t have to face your journey alone.  

Life is beautiful, even when it feels unbearable. Stay. Complete your story. You are stronger than you think.  

Let’s walk this path together. 

 

Awakening My Inner Child: A Reflection

Life's journey is a tapestry woven with our upbringing, environment, and personal experiences. Through this lens, I’ve often pondered: Am I guided by wisdom or mere instinct? None of these reflections are strictly right or wrong; they simply are facets of my unique path.

Childhood Lessons and Their Impacts

Reflecting on the early years, about half a century ago, I embraced certain beliefs:

1. Doing good would lead to good things happening to me.

2. Inaction wouldn't prevent things from happening for me.

3. Offering more would naturally earn me greater appreciation.

Yet, despite these beliefs, life’s complexities have persisted. I wonder, how many of you find yourselves on a similar path?

Navigating Through Self-Discovery

Through NLP, I’ve learned to channel past aggressions, while sound meditation has helped break entrenched norms. These practices have allowed me to explore deeply layered thoughts—some stemming from past imprints, others from set expectations.

But what truly is the truth? Its importance once loomed large, until I began dissecting my beliefs, uncovering mysteries within.

Understanding My Origins

Recently, I’ve realized my existence was shaped by necessity rather than intention. My parents, following ancestral teachings, viewed children as part of life’s duties, a sustenance for the family. Initially, this perspective felt limiting, yet delving deeper revealed it was simply what they knew to do. They provided for basic needs, while I navigated life’s complexities independently.

 Outcomes from My Childhood

1. A feeling of never being truly loved.

2. A reliability forged from household responsibilities.

3. Becoming a convenient support system.

The concept of love eluded me as I sought external security and responsibility over childhood joys.

Embracing Change and Personal Mastery

Understanding these aspects of my past has clarified the chaos I once endured. Now, I’ve initiated a personal reset—a journey not without challenges, but empowering nonetheless. I’ve come to realize it’s never too late to reclaim control over my life, and if I can, so can you.

Empowering Affirmation

If you find yourself faltering, remember: "I AM THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN MY LIFE."

Throughout life, we are shaped by early lessons and environments. Reflecting on how these influence us both personally and professionally can foster growth.

In my own journey, I’ve embraced personal reset and empowerment through practices like NLP and meditation. These have helped me clarify past complexities and reclaim control over my life. How have past experiences shaped your professional path?

What steps have you taken to ensure personal growth? Let's connect and share insights!

Discovering My Inner Child: Lessons in Authenticity and Resilience

 Title: Discovering My Inner Child: Lessons in Authenticity and Resilience

Twelve years ago, I took a leap that changed my life—I joined an inner self-discovery workshop. That decision not only helped me confront my inner struggles but also laid the foundation for personal and professional growth, teaching me resilience and the importance of self-awareness in navigating challenges. Financial limitations had kept me from participating earlier, even though I had longed for it for years. The workshop turned out to be a profound experience, filled with tears, realizations, and emotional confrontations.

One of the most intense revelations was my deep-seated resentment toward my mother. She was the only person I could direct my frustrations at, though it was far from transparent. On the surface, I continued to be her financial supporter, the one who shouldered responsibilities for her and my siblings. She often pressured me by pointing out how others supported their families, guilt-tripping me into blind commitment. Whenever problems arose, I was the one who stepped in to solve them.

This blind loyalty left me financially depleted while my siblings built their own lives. Recognizing this pattern was a turning point for me—it taught me the importance of setting boundaries and valuing my own needs. I began to see how crucial it is to strike a balance between supporting others and prioritizing self-care, a lesson that has since guided my personal and professional relationships. Even when she was chased out of her home, I stepped in to ensure peace and stability. These moments triggered an inner voice, my inner child, screaming at me: “What the hell are you doing?”

Another poignant moment came during a time when my house was undergoing renovations. With no doors and an unsafe environment, my mother rushed to welcome her grandchildren elsewhere, leaving me and my daughter behind. My daughter, confused and hurt, kept asking, “Where is Popo?” The pain in her eyes was a sharp knife in my heart. I can’t even recall what I told her because the emotional wound was too deep. My inner child spoke again, urging me: “Look into your life and make sure your child is not hurt again.”

These are just glimpses of the countless moments when my inner child tried to reach out to me. For years, I ignored it, held back by limiting beliefs that I’ve since identified and worked through on my coaching journey. The breakthroughs I experienced during this time helped me rebuild my life, piece by piece. Through practices like meditation, sound healing, and past life regression courses at Soleil Trinity, I began peeling away the layers of my pain. Slowly, I started seeing myself for who I truly was and took actionable steps to improve my well-being, including setting boundaries and prioritizing self-care. In search of this, I went for meditation, sound healing and past life regressions courses held by Soleil Trinity. Slowly but eventually the layers started to peel. I begin to see more of myself as myself and took steps to improve my wellbeing. 

Why am I sharing this? Because I know many people out there have similar stories, and I believe these experiences hold valuable lessons. By reflecting on our journeys, we can uncover insights that foster personal growth and resilience—qualities that empower us in every aspect of life, including our professional endeavors. This is only a fragment of mine—less than 1% of my life—but it carries a universal message. Wherever you are and whoever you may be, one thing truly matters: being authentic to yourself. Borrow strength from your inner child to support you on your journey. You might not find many people who understand you—maybe not even me—but I am here as an experienced coach and BaZi practitioner, ready to help you navigate your path.

In the end, I take full responsibility for allowing these experiences to happen, recognizing that accountability is a powerful step toward resilience. This lesson has not only shaped my personal growth but also strengthened my ability to navigate challenges with clarity and intention—a skill that resonates deeply in both personal and professional realms. It’s not my mother’s fault or my siblings’ fault. I’m grateful they’ve built their own lives. My blessings will always be with them.

This journey is far from over, and there’s so much more to share. I hope my story inspires you to begin discovering your inner child, embracing your authenticity, and finding the strength to be the best version of yourself.Why am I opening these? I know many out there are having similar experiences as mine and mind you it is just less than 1% of my life. Therefore, I hope that whoever you are and wherever you be there is only one thing matter-being you authentically. Being the best in yourself. Borrow strength from your inner child to support you. You might not find many people who understand you not even me but I am an experience coach and a Bazi practitioner. 

Last but not least, I only have myself to be blame because I allow it to happen. It is not my mother fault and my siblings fault. I am glad they make it out fine. My blessings will always be the best only for them.

There are more to come therefore I will share them as my article on discovering my inner child.