Your Name, Your Shadow, Your Wisdom
These days, trying to find a username you actually like can be surprisingly difficult.
There are billions of people in the world.
So many already have Google accounts, Gmail accounts, YouTube accounts, Instagram accounts, TikTok accounts...
And then you finally think of a name you like—
Taken.
You try another one.
Taken.
Another one.
Also taken.
At some point, you may end up creating the weirdest name simply because it is available!
But I started thinking about something.
Why not keep your own name?
If the platform allows it, put your name first and add a few numbers behind it.
At least you still recognise yourself.
Because sometimes, when we create a username that has nothing to do with us simply because our preferred name is unavailable, we slowly lose that sense of identity.
If you have an old account that is no longer active, perhaps you can consider closing it and creating a new account that actually represents who you are now.
Your name matters.
The name you want people to recognise matters.
And yes, I know this sounds very simple.
But identity is often built from simple things.
Even my Gmail accounts have become part of my identity
I have created many Gmail accounts over the years.
I've helped people create accounts, and then they abandoned them.
And somehow, those accounts ended up in my pool!
I think I have more than 15 Gmail accounts.
But I only actively use a few.
So now I'm learning to organise them.
One for business.
One for coaching and property management.
One for finances.
One for social media.
One for travel.
I'm still adjusting.
I'm still figuring it out.
And that's okay.
I'm not trying to make everything perfect.
I'm trying to make everything clearer.
The same thing applies to my social media.
My Facebook is more about travel and food.
My Instagram is more about health—Zumba, Pilates, swimming and things related to my physical wellbeing.
TikTok is different.
TikTok is where I show up live.
It is where I share my coaching process, my thoughts, my Inner Dialogue work, Awakening Your Worth, transformation, measurement, change and whatever comes through the conversation.
YouTube is more like a place where I repost.
But my presence?
My live presence?
That belongs to TikTok.
And actually, I'm okay with that.
I don't need to be everywhere.
Sometimes, having fewer places to show up allows you to be more present where you actually want to be.
Walking out of the shadow
When I talk to people about walking out of their shadow, I understand why it can feel frightening.
When you have been inside your shadow for a long time, it can feel like protection.
You know the darkness.
You know the comfort zone.
You know how to survive there.
Stepping into the light can feel much scarier.
Because suddenly, you can see yourself.
Other people can see you.
And you may have to let go of things you have used to protect yourself.
When I decided to walk out of my own shadow, I was not in the best place.
It took courage.
And even today, I don't think the journey is finished.
Because I don't believe we completely get rid of our shadows.
Think about the layers of the earth.
You remove one layer, and there is another layer underneath.
Life can be like that.
You work through one part of yourself, and another part eventually appears.
You become aware of another fear.
Another belief.
Another hurt.
Another expectation.
Another part of yourself that needs your attention.
So perhaps the goal isn't to eliminate your shadow.
Perhaps the goal is to learn from it.
You don't have to be afraid of every dark part of yourself.
Sometimes your shadow contains information.
I'm also learning how to remember
Recently, I noticed myself repeating “I, I, I...” because I was trying to remember something.
And I caught myself.
I don't want to immediately label it as ageing or deterioration.
Instead, I am finding ways to train my memory.
For example, I'm learning to remember song lyrics.
Some lyrics are pages long.
So I thought:
Why don't I break them down?
Four lines.
Learn those four lines well.
Then the next four.
Then the next four.
And eventually, put all twelve lines together.
It may take time.
But that's okay.
Time changes everything.
It changes your body.
It changes your circumstances.
It changes your relationships.
And it also changes the way you see your own life.
Perhaps instead of immediately deciding that something is wrong with us, we can ask:
“What else can I try?”
What if failure is actually part of your branding?
This is something I strongly believe.
If you feel that you have failed, look back at your achievements.
You didn't walk this far just to fail.
You walked this far through your failures.
Failure sounds like such a terrible word because society has taught us to associate it with shame.
But I see failure differently.
Failure can become your stepping stone to success when you:
Notice it.
Accept it.
Learn from it.
Move on.
Then failure becomes valuable.
It becomes experience.
It becomes wisdom.
And eventually, it becomes part of your story.
I sometimes think of it as the compounding interest of wisdom.
Every mistake you learn from adds something.
Every disappointment you understand adds something.
Every time you get back up adds something.
You may not see the value immediately.
But over time, it compounds.
And one day, you look back and realise:
“Ah. That experience taught me something I couldn't have learned any other way.”
Don't tell yourself that you have no value
Sometimes people tell themselves:
“I haven't achieved anything.”
Really?
Let's question that.
What have you actually done with your life so far?
It doesn't have to be a huge achievement.
Maybe you learned how to cook.
Maybe you learned how to make Maggi mee.
Maybe you learned how to fold clothes.
Maybe you learned how to take care of yourself.
Maybe you learned how to travel alone.
Maybe you learned how to speak up.
Maybe you learned how to apologise.
Maybe you learned how to survive a difficult relationship.
Maybe you learned how to start again.
These things may look ordinary.
But they are still achievements.
I sometimes think about children who have been very pampered.
Some grow up without knowing how to cook, clean, fold clothes or take care of basic things.
Then they go to university or start living independently and suddenly experience tremendous frustration.
Why?
Because they were never given the opportunity to learn those things.
So don't underestimate the small things you have learned.
They are part of your independence.
They are part of your capability.
They are part of your identity.
And sometimes, the things we think are “too small to count” are exactly the things that prove we have been growing all along.
You are still becoming
So whether you are choosing a username...
Organising your Gmail accounts...
Deciding where you want to show up...
Walking out of your shadow...
Training your memory...
Recovering from failure...
Or simply learning how to take care of yourself—
you are still building yourself.
You don't need to have everything figured out.
You don't need to erase every mistake.
You don't need to eliminate every shadow.
You don't even need to be the person you were five years ago.
You simply need to keep asking:
“What can I learn from this?”
Because your past is not just a collection of things that happened to you.
It is also a collection of experiences that can become wisdom.
And when you stop being ashamed of what you have been through, something changes.
Your failure becomes experience.
Your experience becomes wisdom.
Your wisdom becomes value.
And your value becomes part of the person you are still becoming.
That is your branding.
Not the perfect username.
Not the perfect social media account.
Not the perfect life.
You.
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