Wrong or right?

Life presents itself to us without expectation. Humans are the one that put layers after layers of philosophy to prove that they are right.

In the world of intellectuals, to be seen as uneducated is viewed as an embarrassment. If you are having this kind of thoughts then it is time to discard it. You will only be learning more when you are looking at something you do not know and clearly admit it. After a while, it becomes a habit I call learning.

Many disagreements arise from just this simple situation. What makes me say this? Well! If you have read my posting or articles, you would understand that I do not post things that I have not experienced before. I used to have such a big ego that to be right is the only way towards success. Gradually, I learned to accept that my right is just one very small segment of the whole situation. It is more of an ego boosting process which has no lasting effect or the hand me down education that I have - The boss is always right. Now that I have let go of this BS, I can see things clearer and learning is the key towards everything. And when I started coaching, I began to see clearly what are the issues behind many people's fears of success. YES, many people fear success no matter how much they wanted it. Weird right? But it is the truth. Fake it till you make it was a phrase many people used as a motivation. Some are really making it happen because they did not fake it, they really believe that they can do it. Are they wrong to use this method? If yes, who are you to tell a person what journey should be the right journey for him or her. Sometimes, you do not even know whether you are on the right path or not. At least, when you are on it you think you are right on tract but.... Just be aware that situation within your environment not necessary within your control. Then you can re-bounce back even when you lose control. You will only see it when it is being done and the result is out. It's like the Covid 19 PCR test, of late there are reports saying that it does not really give a clear answer as a person has contracted Covid 19 or it is just a normal flu. This tell you how much guess work is going on in our daily life even with proven scientific support. The co-relation between time and result will definitely give one something to ponder on.

Same thing goes for the Myejahtera apps questions which I find that it is really a very tough question to answer. Those symptoms given are so common within our life especially when our bones are cracking as we age. Therefore, are they wrong? Think about it when you update the status. I was having a huge problem answering them because of jet lag and some of the symptoms are due to other reasons.

Did any of you come across the two images that I shared? There was endless debate on who is right. But in the end, is there really an answer? Think how you apply this concept to your life. How can you decide whether you have fully embraced the life given to you in the highest capacity and glow every moment of the day?

Last but not least, I will like to encourage everyone to write an article. Just forget about perfection. Do it and you will see what I mean.

p/s You is just a phrase used to state a point and not an accusation to anyone

Are you thinking?

 I do not mean to be rude when I asked are you thinking. It is something that I do intensely since my holidays started. I used to be a very busy person and all of a sudden, I took 3 months off to be with my daughter.

I was never a homebody and from the time my girl was born, I was always juggling time to ensure that I have time reserve for my daughter. However, my job as a travel agent bring me out of town most of the time. She is left on her own and somehow that have trained her to be independent. This is good for me because even though I am away from her, I know that she will always be responsible for her own life.

Now I have so much time in hand that it does not matter whether it is sunrise or sunset. Most important thing is that every moment I am spending on enjoying the things I do. I started to cook for my daughter, clean up the place she rented and doing what mother can do in her ability. I am good at my career managing companies and coaching individual. This is really a new task for me. Luckily, I still have frequent coaching sessions that keep me occupied with plenty of things to work on. My salute to all full-time mothers and fathers, you really are incredible. I am only doing this motherly on part time and I am climbing the walls already.

Coaching on the other hand is very rewarding. In a trusted environment, both my participants and me shared many interesting sessions. At the end of each session, it always leaves me with a smile because they know what they want to achieve at their own pace. They are superb in handling their own tasks and spontaneously bounce back when faced with obstacles. Initially, they might apologize for not completing the tasks however they know what they should do therefore we no longer embark on any apologetic conversation. Is there a need to be right or wrong? In coaching, we just work together to ensure that the participants always aware of their choices and the consequences. They do not expect perfection but they strive for completion at their best.

Coaches are also human and, in our life, we also have many challenges. Without those challenges life will be pretty boring. Life should be like the heartbeat on the monitor during an exciting game. It should raise and fall according to sentiment and emotion. An effective coaching session involve all the feelings, intense listening and also commitment without judgement towards our participants. At the end, we should be able to arrive at a point where they achieve their ah-ah moment. Coaches do not provide answers. Good coaches make sure the participants are able to walk confidently on their platform of life after each session. People might be wondering then where will I get my next customer/participant? I never worry about this because in a world of 7.9 billion population, I only wish I can help more. Each one that I coach successfully will help me to launch another journey of help a new person in their life. It is not a business for me but a contribution to the society.

So, do you want to be the sunrise or the sunset or does it really matter? Keep thinking on what you like to build. No matter how much you love your children, they will need to have their own life and you have to start living a life you want. I am doing the same. reach out to the unknown and without expectation make life interesting.

One world, different clouds.

 Interesting on how people view things from different background of teaching. I said teaching because, most of us are taught to think. Of late, I began to realized that many people are thinking on the same line and feel that nothing new to learn from anymore. When one incident happened, the whole nation goes into chaos because another country is doing something about it. I think many will just follow because do not want to look stupid. Do you think it is right or wrong?

You could be wondering where I am going with this article after my inconsistent of posting. My sincere apology because I gave my lap top a holiday when I am on holiday. I just happened to borrow some time with my daughter's laptop and decided to write. Anyway, I was very curious about how I live my life before. This is an enlightening time for me as I just celebrated my daughter's 21st birthday. In other words, I can fully trust her to manage her life with wisdom because it is her to own. This nostalgia time brings back sweet and sour feeling. I have to revisit my past to enjoy the fruit of my struggle. Precious past.

One world, different clouds - my title for this is to recall that each step my daughter took is in some way similar to mine. We are similar in the beginning except the process is totally different for both of us. Her only advantage is that I am here if she needed anything. However, glad to know that she did not need anything from me. This is a very new feeling. To let go of a child which I have always protect under my wings. It took me some time to adjust that she has a life of her own. A life she designed very well without our family support. I am proud of her success that she managed to travel all the way from Malaysia to The Netherlands for the first time and still comfortably settled in a good environment suitable for her education.

Now, the mummy part of me is where I must adjust. When I arrived, I have to adjust to the time and also the busy schedule that she has which I cannot fit in. I am left with plenty of time to roam the city on my own. Taking the tour alone gives me a freshness of freedom. Freedom to do what I like. I just noticed that I forgot to be myself for a long time. I am still searching for my new hobbies since I have so much time to explore.

It is like cycling. I know how to cycle but when I am cycling in The Netherland, it all become a new experience again. I have to learn to use the leg brakes and cycle on the right. It is really tough and after doing it for a few days, I give up. I value my life more than challenging the cycling path. Walking is healthier and easier. But.... I will appreciate the time I go cycling when I am back home instead of taking that for granted.

Therefore, I am learning to live my life as my own again. Pretty exciting right? I have time to reflect on what I did that give me this life of abundance. A lot of sacrifice and painful journey. Some mistakes that cannot be undone while each taught me a lesson or two. Everything has a cause and effect. Is your life offering you any bonuses like mine?

If you are hitting the wall now, think about what will be the best outcome you can get once you overcome this barrier. The fruit is always sweeter.

Nevertheless, I am getting a lot of value by coaching people into their own journey with choices that they make with clarity. With the coaching conversation, there never seems to be any obstacles that stop us from having a good life. I wish more people wake up to the fact that life is always in our own control. We will only know the result maybe in years to come or maybe never but at the time of decisions, everything is always very clear.

Keep Shining

 I have never taken a holiday, the holiday where I do what I want and go where I want to go. I started with one long holidays for 3 months beginning of November 2021. Pandemic taught me a few lessons and some I am still learning. This is the first time I took 3 months off doing nothing except occasional coaching session. To me, coaching people towards success is not a job or a career but a mission to create a coaching culture in my community. As a coach, my promise to myself is to see that my clients face their problems with eagerness because they know they have the solutions.

First and foremost, it taught me to appreciate the nature. I have not reached a stage where I am doing great things but I learned to view things as it come. Things are always beyond expectation when I do not expect anything at all. Isn’t this great.

Secondly, I reflect on the things said and done every time I feel that I could have done it in another way. Better? Not necessarily but it really gives me a different kind of feeling when I dig in further. Nothing is really bad or good but it is how we learn from these that makes us realize what life can be. By doing this, I am always in the good hands of myself. I let go of many unpleasant feelings as fast as it come. I cannot change people, which I should not be doing. I am only getting better of myself every second of the day.

Thirdly, I learn to let go. By doing this, I do not need to be in control of anything. Wanting to control anything have always put me in the place of dissatisfaction. This is very harmful in a long run but many did not realize this. They think that when they are in control they will become powerful. It could be true but how many really stay in control before the truth comes back to haunt you down. I have lived a life of being in control, thinking that I can help them by lining up the route for them. This is my biggest mistake of all. Luckily, I recovered this now. Maybe it is late discovery but I guess it is better now than never.

There are more towards living a life of abundance but it will only pop up when the time is right. I am 55 years old now and to have these pop ups, I have to work harder. I have to coach and be coach on specific topics to make my realization earlier.

My only hope is that everyone finds their sunshine and shine no matter what happen. Miracles happen in the worst of time. Do not wait for the moment to act. Create the moment. Place value in time to discover your inner self and you will have abundance.

Which is what?

I used to post #cloudstory when I was home but now the clouds are rare occasions in Groningen. The expression of sky is so mysterious and the wind is blowing them away aggressively. The best of everything is to have and enjoy the moment.

With the lockdown looming with the hike in the cases, I have the opportunity to chill out and test with my skill on sketching. Therefore, you will notice the difference in the actual between a real painting and my sketching. That is the main purpose of life. To be who you are is to appreciate what you have and use your talents to the fullest.

In my coaching session, a wonderful participants keep putting the things he done as below average. Now, let me ask you a question. When you compare yourself to others, what are you looking at? What you want to achieve with this comparison? What is your feeling after that? Answer your 3 second soul questions. Any longer time taken to answer these questions are the decisions made by the monkey mind.

Authenticity is crucial in birthing of your own values. If one tends to compare others instead of oneself then you lost the ability to appreciate what you have. This is also the main reason that talents are losing their footing when mindset is taken over by the monkey. WE are not monkey so take control of your thoughts and use them to the highest potential.

My new year resolution is pretty simple. I wish to see a coaching culture community where everyone is being guided towards their own potential. As a coach, my duty is to ensure that your journey is ongoing even when we have completed our session. It is really something I want to see happen and I hope you are all with me on this journey. Success should belong to everyone.

My topic on Which is what means you are who you are without pretense. 

 

There is always a story to tell.

 Have you ever come across an incident that you could not get over the fact that someone can do it better than you? Now be honest. I do. That was when I acted as all humans do. Now I paused a while and then shifted my view from why to what. Yes. Seek my monkey mind and then process it to the situation. Every conversation always comes clean to deliver a message or share an idea. Simple right? Now, what makes it into an argument or disagreement?

There are an estimated 60,000-80,000 thoughts per day. Wow!!! We are all such impressive machines. But how many people put those ideas into action and how many people The monkey mind silencer is what everyone can have. Therefore, what makes it so difficult to do so. I know it is something the owner of the thoughts can take control of because I have tested this. Am I perfect then? My kakak (sister) shared an article The Leaking bucket which I reflected that I am not perfect. I must also change so that the whole environment change. This process will need to break a lot of habits and beliefs. And I have started. Tame my monkey mind have made me see my fault clearer and save myself about 50,000 useless thoughts and empower my energy to useful thoughts. Build my persona confidently.

How I do it? In getting clarity that I need someone to share my ideas with pop up frequently as I dive deeper into internal solution. I need someone who I trusted and listen without judgement. Initially, I engaged a coach for this tame my monkey mind process. Then I started to coach which allow me to concentrate on my participants with full anticipation due to my experience. This process not only help my participant in finding clarity, it did not give me time to procrastinate. IAC 9 Masteries have a series of questioning that as a coach I have to utilize. From a participant (coachee), the journey can only grow to be more effective. In helping others to discover their goals in taming the monkey mind, I also help them to empower themselves coachee/participants and have less time for myself. 

My passion now is concentrated towards helping students and graduate by coaching them to address the issue of taming the monkey mind. The next is helping them to discover their pure value and achieve their goal in the career path. 

Want to share your story with me? Many people will not know how to deal with the reality as culture face rejection as failure. Let's change the culture together and let you tell your story with confident. Be the person that you wanted to be when you leave school and meet the world with full confidence and dreams. You should never lick your wound alone. I have done that so I am here for you.

The art of saying NO.

 This is a very interesting topic. When I started to work, I am without any good certification except an average grade in SPM. For those who are not familiar with Malaysia’s education during my era let me give you a brief on this. It is compulsory for all children of age 7 to start education for six years primary and five years secondary. We complete our education at the age of 17 years old. After that some will leave for overseas to further their study while others will stay back in the local university. It was a costly expenditure for most family at that time. The last year which is also the Form Five year, it is compulsory to sit for a life time opportunity exam namely SPM. If you score then maybe you can get scholarship from private firm or our government.

I was an average student and have never really known the reason to study hard. Working seems to be the only alternative I have. I have made a vow that I will not use any money from my family when I graduated at the age of 17 years old. I have kept that promise till now and maybe because of that I never say NO to opportunity to work. I will do any job as long as it is legal and will give me a chance to grow.  Without a solid education background, I have limited choices. The only choice I have is keep saying yes to all the work which I do not enjoy but can help me to survive. I even worked over time to get extra money even if it is just a little extra. Thankfully I was energetic and healthy which bosses like because I never take Medical Leave. I took the advantage to say YES to any task that is new to me or in any area within my job scope. It helped me in getting the knowledge I wanted and the promotion I needed. My gratitude to all those who have given me guidance and patient in teaching me.

My first breakthrough came when I was employed by Ramada Renaissance Melaka. The first five-star hotel then. I was employed as a waitress and was extremely lucky that on the first day of work, I was “promoted” to Front Office Cashier. From there, I learned everything I could again by saying yes to all opportunities. The management of the hotel is extremely generous, they will always pay me over time for doing the extra work. Within a short span of time, I learned enough to be promoted to Chief cashier at the age of 19.  I have been informed by my ex-colleague that I remain the youngest chief cashier they have. I stand to be corrected because the hotel wind down business during the pandemic. Such a beautiful place with beautiful team. So sad to know but I am blessed to have a part of them with me in my memory.

Now after my story, you must be thinking what is this link between the story and the topic. I was battling with the same question on how to say NO when I have been saying YES, all this time.  I was addressing a conversation with someone on this topic. It prompted me to rethink about what and when to say YES to something should be NO to another. As you might know now, I gain all my experience through working hard and saying YES to tasks that seems impossible to me but it is all towards the development of my department and my job. Therefore, it is the right thing to do and appropriate action in this matter.

Most probably this is the reason many people do not know how to say NO. They might think that by saying NO is not expected and they lost the chance to grow. However, if the request is taking up your time and you failed to complete your goals then saying NO is the only way to survive. Business is always business, if you go out of your way to help someone without paying attention to the task in hand, this is irresponsible act. Your act of compassion might also be creating trouble for your career. Think about this.

There are a few types of people who likes to ask for help and I just use a few I know. I learned to say NO to these categories of people and I find that by saying NO, I am saying YES to many outcomes.

1.     People who do not know what they are doing.My answer of NO is usually accompanied by a suggestion or a recommendation for them to search for answer. I will keep a look out for their next question because they are asking for clarity instead of just finishing a task.

2.    People who are lazy.I have to evaluate this kind of person for at least three times because I say NO. This is to give them a chance to learn that nobody is at their disposal. The rest is up to them to decide or look for another victim.

3.    People who are bossy. At my present position, I can just say NO right? But it is good to keep a relationship with this kind of character because they made me see who I do not want to be. I will be very innovative in my NO and yet the friendship remains mutual. This is where the art of communication will slide in.

Let’s have some thoughts going here. What kind of situation will you address and how do your maneuvers yourself out of the sticky situation when you need to say NO but still respected by this answer?