A short story of Far.

Do you know when your life really began to take off for a smooth path? It is when you learn that you are a valuable human being.

I like to tell you a story.

There was this little girl in the village by the name of Far. She is so far from anyone who is close to her as her parents left her to work. She has no idea how far they go but there were that no communication is available. Remember those were the days where communication is about writing letters that might arrive one month later.  She was only 7 years old then. There were no one for her to go back to but thankfully she was enrolled to the school before her parents left. She goes to school as usual and she just survive. She does not know anything about what being a child means. She doesn’t know what it is like to have a family and she don't know what is needed to be a simple girl of 7 years old. God must be taking care of her somehow. She was staying in the area where drugs and brothels are the daily trade of that place. The mouse is as big as the cats and it's always running around as it is their home in the place where she stayed. Playing with the cockroaches is like the fun thing that she can do. That's life at the place that she is staying.

As for the school, it was another different story. She is lucky to have the transportation fetching her to and fro from the school. She attended the school as usual and never was anywhere close to being the top of the class. She is always getting all the red marks on her report cards. She was pretty proud of it too because she does not understand what is the different between red and blue. To her it is just a report card that nobody can sign. She has to give all sort of excuses when the teachers asked to see her parents. The worst part is when teachers have to collect school fees. She has to go into hiding because she has no money to pay and she don't even know where her parents are. Day and night, night and day she waited. Days become months and months become years. Somehow the little girl dying slowly inside. She lost her authenticity of childhood since she didn't experience it the way all children should. To her, she just needs to breathe and stay alive. Even when she was sexually abused, she did not dare to say anything because she is Far - a person that is not important at all. She was always living in fear for months until that guy was caught by the police.  She remembers that she must be a good girl because her mother always said that she was pickup from the garbage dump. 

As she grows older, she knows that in order to be getting some attention she must learn to say "Yes” to do any tasks that is given to her. She will do anything to just have the opportunity of watching television from the gate of her neighbours and stand quietly there. If she is lucky, she might get to go in and sit on the floor watching with the owner of the television. At that time, having a television is like having the whole township bowing to you. 

She learns how to market herself to get the things that she wanted.  She starts to do a lot of chores for neighbours just to get a piece of cake or a slice of goodies because she just does not have that kind of luxury. 

By the time her parents came back, she is already about 9 years old. They keep shifting houses because her parents do not have the money to stay in one place for too long. Furthermore, her father is owing so many people money. She has to go into hiding whenever the loan shark came. Life was really tough for a girl at her age. 

Then things began to get better and at a tender age of 10 she is already babysitting just to get some cakes for her family. She has to cooked and wash clothes for her family while taking care of the younger siblings since her parents are working. Nobody understands her and nobody cares because at an era the older one has to take care of the younger ones. 

Gradually things began to be better for her family but cash is still short. Her money worked very hard to feed the family. Her dreams were all shattered and she just want to make sure she has food and clothes to wear. Things started to settled but the little girl Far, never really leave that sadness during the growing up stage. Her whole life is wasted and she know that her only survival tool is to say "Yes" no matter how much she wants to refuse because she is having so much fear of failing. She always thought that she failed as a person. So, she just uses "Yes” to buy her way.

 

to be continue.....

 

Hope you understand this story is all about standing up for yourself if you have come across similar case like this, please lend a hand to that person. Listen to their pain of growing and assist them to walk out bravely. If you do not have that expertise, feel free to contact me as I will be in touch.

 

Men CANNOT Cry.

 I do not know when this happen to be an embarrassing situation for people. Since young, people have always told me that men cannot cry. However, you notice that most children especially boys are crying babies. Is it because their unconscious mind have been contaminated by such remarks. Having been automated with this kind of restrictions, the boys all bawling like nobody business even for small thing that happened to them. Girls on the other hand just watch because they know they can cry anytime anywhere.

Anyone out there understand what cause this kind of remarks to take place and create a no cry zone for men? It is really pathetic that men are being push to a situation when they need to express their feelings, they are not given that right to do so. Who in the first place mooted the idea that when men cry, they are "sissy". I just google this word and it simply means a victim of circumstances because they are different. And in this era, everyone wants to be different right? Therefore, what caused this kind of mentality to be existing till now?

Crying is a form of release of emotion. It allows one person to express and release to the maximum so that it is not overwhelming. It can happen in sadness, and it can also happen on happy occasions.

An extract from Wikipedia

The act of crying has been defined as "a complex secretomotor phenomenon characterized by the shedding of tears from the lacrimal apparatus, without any irritation of the ocular structures", instead, giving a relief which protects from conjunctivitis.^[

It is just another method of people having a relief being express.

In future, please be kind - give space for people to cry and respect them for their guts. For crying out loud - let the men cry when they must.

Miscommunication is also communication

 How often were you caught in a situation where what you have said seems to come out wrong? I kept asking myself, is it so difficult for me to translate my message? Did I miscommunicated or it just that they are listening, feeling or seeing from their point of view instead of the real issues. I am like that, and I just found my mirror. Things must be change for the better.

And then I discover from my NLP Practitioner course that none of this happened. It is just a miscommunication on all. Not in words but in the representation of the words.

This open up a whole flood of understanding when I rethink about what causes people to be piss off by certain situation.

I must admit, I love to talk and love to motivate. This is because I just love people and love the way things are interacted. I make decisions very fast therefore I make a lot of mistakes and jump into many unwanted situations. Lots of heartache towards building my businesses and liaising with people. 

Thankfully, things have a turn around when I was diverted to coaching course instead of Train The Trainer (TTT) course. It is indeed and eye-opening experience. From being put in the spot for having to be the one who supposed to know everything, I become the person who unlearn everything and relearned things.

I love coaching because I can do self-coach which is very powerful and also, I can face my own devil.

The world is full of goodies. One just need to start looking for it within themselves. In our culture, it is a taboo to give advice to elders (Well! In my family this is the case) therefore I have to use myself as an example. Open up the wound of imperfections and failures. There is still a long road to recovery. How can you remove a hate that is embedded so deep that even the excavator cannot reach? I have to melt it down and take time in mending the thoughts.

Like they say, it's not good to keep grudge but people don't know how to let go. Most people think that they become stronger when the have this strong grudge within themselves without noticing that they kill themselves before they even kill anything else. Miscommunication again with within. 

Therefore, for those who have dreams, rethink about your life. Make it so beautiful that even the enemy (If you have one) will admire and respect you. Only by doing this you are giving yourself a value of pride and a place of respect. Communicate this with passion.

Wishing you many wonderful experiences in communicating effectively to avoid miscommunication especially within yourself.

What is your life all about?

When you wake up in the morning, how often do you give thanks that you are breathing healthily? How often are you in the state of gratitude? How much joy you have to open that lovely sight to the world? 

If one day, you are not able to do all of the above can you imagine what it is like?One of my friends have been shuttling in and out of hospital for the past one mont or so. She does not really know what will come next because she is without anyone except friends like us. She also does not have the finances to support her medical bills which is exorbitant.  It's really traumatic for her. While other schoolmates just left us after battling with illness.  Life is so fragile so what will you do for yourself? Which remind me to ask you to double check your insurance coverage. The medical bills can kill you before the rest of the thing does.

Life is such a unique experience. When you are facing the toughest phase of your life, you always feel like nobody is there for you right? Ya, that was also how I felt before I embark on the coaching journey. For me coaching is just a steppingstone towards clarity and achieving specific goals. I know there are bigger things waiting for me to explore. Therefore, I go to the roots of my failure so that I can guide more people towards the path of success. Is it easy? If you are really aware of what you want, the toughest journey gives you the best result. You will know what I mean when you have qualified yourself as learning to achieve success.

Many times, one failed to take the step ahead of them because of one thing that I will brand it as fear. Me too. I have been there and done that too. Am I fearless now? No. I just know how to re-bounce to accept that if I want to succeed, I have to overcome fear. How do I overcome fear then? It's another method taught in NLP Practitioner Course. It's just a few minutes session and everything will be in order. But the process of getting rid of these limiting beliefs are the toughest part of anyone's life. How you find congruency within your life journey?

www.lifejourney9.com

Let's say that you are so excited to travel to a place that is foreign to you, and you are traveling alone for the first time. What you think will be the main answers from your family or friends? They will first envy you then they will be discussing about how dangerous it is to travel and what you should do. The best part is none of them ever took this kind of adventure before. However, the seeds of fear will start to creep up if you are not strong enough. Only people with a clear vision will understand what it is like. So which category are you from? The fearful on or the fearless one? Remember ya, I mentioned fearless which must come with certain require skills and wisdom. Not kamakazi fearless type of indication.

Mmmmmm..........time for me to look into some exciting solo adventure. 

Are other people your mirror?

When the day of #Everything, Everywhere all At Once burst into the screen with the Michelle Yeoh wining the Best Actress Oscar Award. 

Many of us have done a lot of things or so we thought that can "Hope" to bring to where we want to be. In other words, we think that by being just that we can be successful. Well! some of us do while others are always left in the disappointing situation.  Then they will blame the stars and the moon or anything that crosses their path. 

The common sentences you heard only whenever something went wrong and its always other people faults. Amazing right? Now, one question for you. Where are you in the entire situation? What is your role in this whole scene? What is the different if you have view it to be something of a learning?

Like my two experiences during my breakfast time a few weeks ago. I saw a couple with two kids and the parents diligently taking extra care of their children at the corner of my eyes.  Lie an AI , the parents is a perfect fit because they did everything possibly they can to ensure the children comfort. The comfort in the individual domain. The SOP is, the  father taking of the eldest son and the mother taking care of the youngest son. The breakfast conversation between the order taker is 10 times more than the conversation between both the parents. The only time they speak to each other is when the wife asked for the key to the car. No thank you, not even a word of "please give me the car key" , it just "Key". The children are not chit chatting with each other either. They gave me a feeling of AI managing home. The children are given the handphone to watch their own favorite program. What happened to sharing? What happened to common interest as a family? What happened to the curtesy between husband and wife. What will this show to the children? Children are the beauty of the world. They pick up things and just adapt it because they do not know what is needed except that they trust their parents. .

 As I walk out of that shop, another family sitting right beside the entrance and there are three of them. The husband and wife with a kid. They were all fire up with excitement about a normal conversation. The kid also participates by being attentive to her parent's conversation and you can feel the warm that radiate from that union.

What is it that you see that can make any difference to you? 

The statement that people close to you is your own mirror. Actually, it is perfectly accurate to say you are the product of environment, what you see is what you are. Take some time to evaluate this statement and then think where it hits you. If you hate, then hate will follow you. If you love, love will follow you.  It does not hurt to be nice because it will come back to you. What is the lesson here then? I am also learning from this experience even though my kid is already a lady.  

What did you learn here?

As for me, I will suggest that parents learn first to be human before being parents. Parents should give their children the joy of being children. Does this make sense to you? If not, share your experiences.

Focus

 A simple word which is mouthed by many people. It sounded easy. It is indeed easy too if you understand the real purpose of this word.

When the pandemic struck mother earth and humanity, the majority of people were having a mental diarrhea. Some went into depression and the hardworking ones found innovation as solutions. People started to pivot to digital everything while others keep believing that this is just a horror story. While many is sitting on a situation of belief. They believe that this is just a phase which will recovers life Sars, War etc. They refused to accept that the impact is real. After more than two years, those people are stuck while others move ahead steadily.

You saw who is the winner now? Most of us realize that we cannot wait for miracle but make miracle happen. Those who worked harder, stay innovative and keep adjusting are the ones that are rising in their developments. This is an article I plucked during my search for millionaires and see what I found.

World gained 5.2m millionaires last year in Covid crisis – this news was in June 2021. Now the number is increasing faster than you can count 1,2,3.https://www.theguardian.com/news/2021/jun/22/world-has-gained-52m-new-millionaires-in-covid-crisis-report

For those who are associating closely with the yoyo situation and the aftermath of the pandemic, you will definitely find it interesting. You want the good news? The good news is you can be the next millionaires too.

Therefore, what did these successful people do? They obviously are doing things that they have full concentration on. It means they seek clarity, focus and act. Then you might say "Well! I did this but why am I still struggling?". From my experiences with hundreds of zoom courses, one thing for sure is that the new normal will keep being new. Change is constant change.

The solution is always out there in the market. The only obstacle is the decision maker. Some are innocently thinking that not changing is going to benefit them. Well! In some cases, it is true but at this point of writing, I cannot think of one industry that can remain untouched. Can you? Please share.

Others will be chasing after change without knowing what they are changing for except "People change, so I must change" kind of attitude.

Looking back on these kinds of situations, what do you think is the best solution? What exactly is the reason for people to lose focus in life?

As for me, I spend a lot of time evaluating situations. Select and change. This is an ongoing process. I believe many people like me who think they can do a lot of things within a short time when we can expertly handle all the new innovation. However, this is very far from the truth. Many people get entangled inside social media and lose the little achievement that they gain because they lose out on their purpose in doing so.

Do not fret. The success belongs to those who keep learning from their mistakes and keep changing towards a focus direction. Are you one of them?

One question that I encourage you to think about at all times is "What will keep you locked into that direction of success?". If you do not know the answer then I encourage you to look for coaching services. Look for one person who look into your heart and tell you what you are seeing.

The best thing that ever happen is that you have everything if you know how to use your anything.

Good luck.

Because You Can.

  You must be wondering what is the reason for people not to have consistency?

Yes, this is also my question to myself.

When I started to write on my blog, I was greedy enough to think that I can do everything everywhere all at once.  You got it right? 

Then my journey begins. I was in search of something bigger than me outside of me. I spend years thinking that if I study enough, research extensively and then do all I can then I will see what I want. Do you think so?

Every lesson that I took is painstakingly building up in many ways from Grammar to Metaphysic and then back to basic and I thought I have finally found the answer to what I want in life.

Let me share or in other words reshare my story with you.

I always feel that I am not good enough, not smart enough, not pretty enough or worst not clean enough. What is the reason for this? It is because at the age of around 8, I was sexually abused by a relative. He is a giant of a man, and I am just a tiny little girl without anyone protecting me. My parents have left for Singapore with my brother, and I am all alone with my nanny and her husband. Both of them treat me with so much care but what can they do because they need to take care of me. I do not know what the arrangement between my parents and them is. At a time where no ewallet or ebanking or any of the kind, money transfer can only happen when my parents come back. In my sea of memory, they never seem to be appearing during that few years. Girls they are to be seen and not to be heard. If anything went wrong, it is always the girl's fault. Do I know that it is?  Honestly, I really don't know what it is except that it is not the right thing to happen. Can I avoid it from happening? I really don't know the answer because at that age, nobody is there to support or educate me. I just grow like the wild grass. What is life? I guess living in a slump without knowledge of right or wrong, sleeping and having food is the only thing in one's mind. I am like that. I was relieved when he was caught by the police. Now, if I do not know what it is at least I know I have been living in fear of his touch and gruesome overbearing existence.

Who will listen to me. Who will understand this. Who is there for me to share this. It never happened except that I feel really dirty and unfit to be in anyone's life as a wife or as a mother. 

How I pull myself out of this? I am not really sure, but I know my life can be better. Therefore, I make a vow to myself that by the age of 18 years old, I will never ever take anything from my parents. Do they know it? I only told my mom recently. Do I blame them? YES. I used to blame them for many years, but I keep being the filial piety daughter because I thought that if I can give them everything they wanted, I will have more love. Do you know what, I was wrong. Love does not come from outside. Love has to start from inside. 

Then I started to build my own life around love. The love of knowing what happened already happened. My parents, like most parents do everything they can with the resources that they have for their family. Forgiveness is also something I learn to do. I forgive myself for not knowing what people think I should know. For not realizing life is full of challenges. For bashing myself up to get recognition and for many more of other things that happened. 

I am glad that I realized it now and life begin to bring more meaning to me and my family. I want to reach out to people who are in their doubts about what is life. I want to reach out to people who believe they can. I want to see that each one have a chance to do something for themselves before they give up. 

Be the BRAVE one. Take action and love yourself. There is always a choice in everything.

Good luck

posted on 14Mar 2023 1505hrs